Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally, God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.”
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They did spreadsheets.
They sent faxes.
They sent email.
They sent email with attachments.
They downloaded files.
They did some genealogy reports.
They created labels and cards.
They did every known job.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell.
God got a little bored during this time and started mucking round (as Gods do). He was just conjuring up some storms here and there but in doing so accidentally created a power surge with one too many lighting bolts.
This caused both their screens to go blank. God apologetically saying “Opps” said “he’ll start the test again”.
But Satan yelling at his computer and now god, screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Meanwhile Jesus just sighed.
The electricity was finally back on and each of them waited as their computers rebooted. Once loaded Satan started searching frantically, screaming “It’s gone! It’s all GONE! I’ve lost everything with this stupid power shortage! You idiot God!” Meanwhile Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours.
Satan suddenly observed this and became very irate. Steam whistled out of his ears.
“What the hell! He cheated! How did he do that!?”
God shrugged and said, “Well, Jesus saves”